Meant to Be (The Ruffled Pages)

Loving someone is never easy, but it is always beautiful and that is exactly how slowly but surely, I fell head over heels for you. The spark incited by affection had suddenly fuelled up into a full-fledged fire called love and I was completely oblivious to the fact that its flames had engulfed me completely. I met you at the library, a person of sunny and overconfident disposition. I hated you when we first met primarily because I wasn’t able to figure out why was I attracted to an overconfident individual like you. While I was proud of being the extrovert, I suddenly found myself freezing in front of you and what’s worse? It was our first meeting. By the time I returned to my room, I knew I was infatuated with you and I hated myself for it; but a part of me also longed for your presence. A part of me craved to see you again but I knew it was impossible since I did not even know your course or anything about you. I went and dejectedly sat beside my roommate on her bed. Seeing my disappointed countenance, she enquired as to what was the matter. I told her about the super-hot and dashing stranger I encountered at the Library (ya ya it was you; you don’t need to give me that smug look!) and that I was morose because I won’t be able to see you again. She gave me a skeptical look and said that I probably had encountered my first “College Crush”. I rolled my eyes but my heart whimpered that it was true. However, she told me that if it’s meant to be it will find a way. I just clung to the words she had just said and tried to fall asleep. The next morning, as I went to the classroom, I found you sitting in the second row. I almost fainted! However, I steadied myself and tried ignoring. I walked past you, avoiding your gaze (I had the pleasure of catching you checking me out!) and went and sat on my regular seat which unfortunately was right across the place where you sat. However, while I was avoiding you during the entire class duration, my bench partner suddenly quipped as to whether I had noticed the “New Guy” of our batch, who was apparently a late admission to our college. I knew who she was talking about and I just tried to make a poker face and concentrate on the class. However, the butterflies in my stomach were for real and I was sure that the pounding of my heart was audible to the entire class. Once, the class was over, as I was planning a quick exit from the class, I heard you call out my name. I flushed, and turned back to look at you. I faked a quick surprised look and exclaimed, “Hey! I didn’t realise you were in my Class”. You replied that you took a late admission to this college. Suddenly, my friends came to me and the charming personality which you were; within a few days, you became a part of our group. It has been two years since the day we met at the library. You still do not know a thing about my feelings and I preferred to keep mum about it till date as you just got out of a toxic relationship of five years a few months back. Yeah, it’s not like I waited for you once I came to know about your relationship- I had my fair share of relationships and breakups in the past two years. But, the best part was the fact that after every breakup, yours were the shoulders I cried on. During times of crises that is, whenever I used to mess up stuff, you were always there to sort it out. When she broke up with you, people said that it was because you fell out of love with her, they said that you had feelings for someone else instead, you had feelings for me. I chose to ignore that part because fake hopes hurt and I did not want to look back on what I had left behind-or rather suppressed inside me because moving over you was the hardest thing I ever had to do and sometimes at night, when my brain falls asleep but my heart stays awake- it still marvels at your beautiful long lashes, your heartbreakingly crooked smile, your smooth and deep voice-it still keeps me awake all night long, it whispers that it still loves you and I whisper back to it-“ if it’s meant to be it will find a way!” and I cling to those words and fall asleep again….

Published by shachi_sinha

An engineer who is making an endeavour to pen down her unsaid emotions and her midnight musings with an effort to connect with all of you out there.

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